Dealing with my Anxiety

I have had this post in my drafts for a long time and I have been putting off posting it until now. My anxiety is something that is super hard for me to talk about sometimes but I felt like if I could help out one person with this post it would be worth it.

I have always had a fair amount of anxiety but it only started getting really bad a couple months ago. I thought the source of it was from a birth control that I had started mixed with wedding planning and being newly engaged.

To help fix this issue I put all wedding planning on my mom and stopped taking the birth control. I was still experiencing both anxiety attacks and panic attacks. I felt like I was in such a bad place and I had panic attacks from being afraid of getting another panic attack. I didn’t sleep and I didn’t eat for days on end. I really felt like I wasn’t the one in control of my own brain. It terrified me to be alone or to sleep or to eat. There were many nights that I made Chris drive an hour because I was crying and shaking too hard to even breathe. I would shake and pace and cry and I didn’t know how to even start to deal with any of it.

Nothing was helping and things were only getting worse for me. I started having panic attacks at work and it was getting in the way of regular things that I did. I went to the doctor and finally got a prescription and things were getting a little better. I was still struggling to eat and sleep and be alone but my anxiety attacks decreased from 4 times a week to only once or twice. I really thought that things were clearing up but I only had a limited amount of these pills and eventually I ran out and had to go back to the doctor. He gave me a new and different prescription (not because the first one didn’t work but because it isn’t meant for long time use) and I was really scared to try it.

I am currently still on it and it works okay. I still only sleep for about 3 hours at a time and I can get really scared to be alone because I am scared that I will have another panic attack.

Basically everyone has tried to tell me that its just the wedding but being with Chris seems to be one of the few things that calms me down. When I’m having an anxiety or panic attack it also seems like knowing that the wedding will be over in X amount of days doesn’t calm me at all. I have dealt with more stressful times in my life and dealt with them just fine. I don’t know where this anxiety comes from or what triggers it but I am trying everything that I possibly can.

I don’t just want to complain for a whole post so lets get into the things that I have done that seem to help. These are all based on my own personal experience so if you decide to try them I cannot guarantee that they will work. 

  1. Tea

I drink a lot of sleepy tea and it seems to at least help me sleep. This doesn’t necessarily help me with my anxiety but it does help with being able to sleep. Helping with this particular side effect is the best I can do right now. I drink it at about 9 every night and by the time midnight roles around I am usually tired enough to fall asleep. This doesn’t work for me every night but it helps enough that I do it most every night.

2. Essential Oils

I was definitely skeptical about this method for a long time but after I had used some that actually helped with what they were meant to, I decided to give it a try. I have bath bombs, body wash, and bath salts with calming and relaxing essential oils in them. I have found really help sometimes. I know that there are a lot of people that have tried to tell me that the effects of essential oils are all in my head but so is my anxiety so maybe it a match made in Heaven.

3. Prescriptions

While the other things that I have tried have been pretty big helps, being on a prescription for my anxiety has been one of the biggest helps. It can be super frustrating to try to find the right prescription that balances with other prescriptions you’re on such as birth control. I think that for me, even if it might not be the right anxiety medicine yet, knowing that I am on the path to finding it also helps me feel better.

4. Having someone to talk to

For me, this person is almost always Chris. Seeing as he has promised to deal with me for the rest of forever, having him around is pretty calming. Sometimes he will literally tell me that no matter how shakey I am and no matter how much I have the urge to pace around the house I just need to sit down and he will help to distract me until I start to feel better. Another person who has been a huge help to me has been my mom. My mom is the best possible mom I could have asked for and I don’t know that there are many people who understand me better than I understand myself like she does. She knows what to say and what to do to make me feel better even when I am 100% sure it won’t work.

5. Finding comfort in religion

If you are someone who is not religious or who does not find comfort in spiritual things then feel free to skip this paragraph. However, I promised myself that I wouldn’t chicken out of writing about this aspect of my anxiety so here it goes. For me being able to talk about church-related things more comfortably with people that struggle with similar things is so comforting. I know that through things such as prayer and scripture study I can to overcome things like this.

This has been a really tough subject for me to share as I am sure it is for many others that struggle with anxiety. I know that there are people who struggle in different ways and I really hope that something I have shared can help out.

Let me know what things you have found that help you when you’re feeling anxious.

Wedding Planning: Bridal Showers

So I know that technically this isn’t a thing that I plan but I am still involved so I figured I should write about it.

Just yesterday my aunt and my grandma threw me the best bridal sower. The theme was garden party and everything was so cute and perfect. I wish I would have taken pictures to show you guys but I was way too busy enjoying everything.

I had been traveling since Wednesday so I wasn’t really sure that I was in the mood for FFA (forced family activities) but everything turned out great. The morning of my bridal shower I had been camping with my parents and drove three hours to get to the party. When I walked in there was food and flowers everywhere and I still had to go get dressed and do my makeup so I didn’t even have time to process what was going on.

One thing about bridal showers that I learned is that since most everything is out of my hands that means that I shouldn’t stress. I was really nervous that Chris’ mom and Grandma wouldn’t get a long with my family very much. I definitely should have calmed down about this one because it looked like everyone got along great. I know that this may not be the experience of everyone when the two families meet but it is definitely a huge blessing to me that everyone gets a long really well. (Maybe they all secretly hate each other and were just putting on a show for me but I’d like to go with my first assumption.)

I also learned that my family. as well as Chris’ is so amazing and so thoughtful with gifts. I know that most of them traveled several hours there and back to be there to support me, which meant the world to me, and they gave me the most thoughtful gifts. I would list them all but that would take too long but just know that everything is amazing and I  love it and I have enough towels that there will never be anything wet in my apartment.

I realize that not everyone has the same experience with their bridal shower but I cannot even express how thankful I am for all the work and time that was put into mine. Everything from the food to the games to the decorations and the gifts was amazing.

Let me know what your best (or worst) bridal shower experiences are and how you deal with them!

Dealing With Period Skin

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Basically periods suck all around. I think the only benefit I ever saw from having one was freshman year gym class when I didn’t have to swim for that week.

On top of the many things that I dislike about my period my skin falls within the top 3.

I used to think that hormones only effected your skin right around your period but I have come to the conclusion that I can tell where I am at in my cycle based on what my skin is doing. Generally around the time of my period is my least favorite stage.

2 weeks before: My skin starts to break out just a little bit. Usually just a couple little pimples in the really sensitive areas of my face like the crease of my nose or my hairline.

2-3 days before: My skin starts to get really dry. It gets to the point where it burns to put on moisturizer and is constantly flaking and getting red. The worst areas for me during this time are right around my mouth and right next to my eyes along my cheekbones.

During: I don’t really have any complaints about my skin during my period. This might be the one time that I feel like its not getting too oily or dry and my breakouts have cleared up for a bit.

As far as tips for dealing with trouble skin during different times of your cycle here is what I do:

For oily days: On the days when my skin is more oily I still use moisturizer but I go for a more water based moisturizer. My go to has been the Simple Hydro-Boost moisturizer. I also am pretty adamant about drinking lots of water.

For makeup on these days I use the Maybelline Fit Me foundation and the Flower setting powder. I also make sure that I carry setting powder around with me so that when my skin gets a bit more oily during the day.

For dry days: On days when my skin is dry and flakey I don’t tend to wear a lot of makeup because it flakes off. I still use the same Soap and Glory face wash during these days. It is a bit more drying but it seems that if I change my face wash it only makes it worse.

I make sure that I use the Loreal Skin Active moisturizer over my whole face and an oil based skin serum around my eyes and mouth where my skin is the flakiest.

For breakout days: I have a lot less breakouts now that I’m on these prescriptions but on the days when I have a few more trouble spots the Tarte Shape Tape is my best friend. I do the normal skincare routine but when I do my makeup I make sure that I use some color correction with the Shape Tape on top of trouble spots.

 

Let me know what you guys do to help your skin for your period and the best tips and tricks you have for different parts of your cycle.

 

Sun and Sunburns

My absolute favorite thing about summer is being able to be outside.

However, I will be the first to admit that I can sometimes suck at putting on sunscreen. It always takes that first 4th of July sunburn to teach me my lesson every year. (This year it was technically the 9th of July but whatever.)

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As I’m writing this my shoulders and my back and my thighs are burning and I have applied Aloe three times already. I know that there are a lot of home remedies for sunburns and that the best remedy is to just reapply sunscreen so you don’t end up with this problem in the first place, but I feel like there are almost too many to choose from.

I am lucky that I didn’t burn my face because my skin is already dry enough with the prescriptions I am on. I really don’t need it peeling in a couple weeks when I am trying to move and get a new job.

My favorite thing to do with a fresh sunburn is go to the movies. It’s cold and dark so it seems like a great environment for my new lobster looking skin.

This is just a little rant about my least favorite thing about summer. If you guys have any fool-proof sunburn remedies let me know!

Dying My Hair!

So I have wanted to dye my hair for a while and I am finally going to do it in a couple weeks. I know that when my hair is colored it will take a lot more maintenance but right now I want to make sure that my hair is as healthy as it possibly can be as to not cause more damage than normal.

I’ve already talked in a previous post about what I do to care for my hair and now that I am getting ready to color it I want to make sure that its extra healthy.

I still use the same Herbal Essences Rose Hips Shampoo for washing my hair. I stick with my schedule of washing every other day or every two days depending on how much I sweat when I work out. (Also it’s summer so that is a bit more often.)

I also started using a new Coconut Water conditioner. It is the Renpure Professional Coconut Water Hydrating Conditioner. I am in love with the way this smells, first of all. When I first used it I didn’t think that it would be that great because it isn’t as thick as other conditioners I’ve used.

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I was definitely pleasantly surprised by it. My dead ends feel hydrated and healthy and it doesn’t leave any gross residue. Overall 10/10 would recommend for any dry or damaged hair.

The other thing I use more often is hair treatments. These I do pretty often and I love to try some new ones. My go to is the OGX Renewing + Argon Oil of Morocco Intense Moisturizing Treatment. I have been in love with this product for a long time and I SWEAR BY IT. It makes my hair so silky soft and it feels so healthy. I think the best thing is that it smells great and works even better. I will put this on after the shower and put my hair all up in a clip to let it soak in and then rinse it with lukewarm water.

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The other new thing that I have been trying is hair masks. Some of them I have found are really great and some of them are just so-so.

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(Sorry these are all in plastic bags I just never use the whole package all at once.)

Over the past couple weeks I have been trying three different ones: HI-PRO-PAC Coconut Oil & African Shea Butter, Love Beauty and Planet Murumuru Butter & Rose Blooming Strength and Shine 2 Minute Magic Masque, and the Shea Moisture Peace Rose Oil Complex, Nourish & Silken Treatment Masque w/ Date Palm & Camelia Extracts.

I like using each of these for different reasons so I use them interchangeably. The HI-PAC-PRO makes my hair really soft and it smells so good. My hair feels thicker and it feels healthy.

The Love Beauty and Planet one is one of the best smelling products I have ever used. I seriously cannot get enough of it. It makes my hair really shiny and it adds some much needed nutrients that make my hair feel better for days after using it.

The Shea Moisture one is probably my least favorite only because it is really heavy. My hair doesn’t feel flowy the next day and it gets really oily really fast after using it.

Once I color my hair, my routine will definitely change so keep your eye out for my post about it!

Let me know what you guys do to help prep your hair for color and what you do to care for it after it’s colored.